There’s one phrase that sums up all our lessons learned on this often very difficult issue:
It’s not a big deal.
OK. Here’s what I mean. Of course it is a big deal if your dog destroys your home. People have horror stories about what happens when they leave their dog alone: non-stop barking, eating its own poo, peeing everywhere, eating furniture, or even worse…
I thought it was bad that our little monster would rip up the weewee pad, but that’s nothing compared to some of the stuff I’ve heard.
I think most of the mischief our pets get into when we’re away from home stems from separation anxiety, fear, and boredom. Other mishaps could be tied to health issues, and should probably be checked out by a vet. But for the most part, I think it all has to do with the dog’s state of mind when you leave.
Act as if it’s not a big deal for you to leave, and it won’t be for the dog.
Dogs freak out when you’re getting ready to leave because they know that you’re going and have no idea whether you’re coming back or not. Dogs know the tell-tale signs that we’re leaving – we shut off the TV and stereo, put on our clothes, brush our teeth, clean up the house (well, some of us do), grab our keys and phone, and go out the front door. All of those things signal that we’re about to abandon our pets. Dogs have some sort of crazy mind-reading ability, as they definitely respond to the mood and tone of our voice. And most of the time we’re late, so we grab our stuff and rush out the door in a hurry.
Leave your dog in the same state as you are. CHILL AND RELAXED.
Here are the steps we take to prevent the dog from freaking out when we leave:
- Do some of those “tell-tale” signs of leaving occasionally during the day so they get used to those sounds: jingle the keys, put your shoes on, leave your bag by the door…
- Do most of your prepping in advance so you don’t leave in a big rush: get your bag ready by the door, put your clothes and shoes on, put stuff away…
- If you have one, put your dog in its pen area.
- For at least 15 minutes before you leave, stop paying attention to your dog and ignore it altogether until it chills out and ignores you.
- Calmly turn off the lights and make the room as quiet, peaceful, and boring as possible. Soft music can help soothe the savage beast.
- Give the dog a treat or a special toy right as you walk out, nonchalantly without saying a word.
Here’s the daily routine we follow, starting at 7:30 am:
- Wakeup, pee and (sometimes) poo in bedroom
- Move crate and weewee pad back to the living room
- 1st meal + Nutrical (doggie vitamin supplement paste that they love)
- Play Time / exercise her till tired, about 30 min since she’s a small one
- Put her back in the pen
- Poo Time (usually 30 – 45 min after eating)
- Quiet Time, 15 min
- Disappear
We’re out the door by 8:45 or 9 am. That’s kind of late for NYC time, but we get enough doggie time so it’s worth it.
One big tip: The KONG.
Dogs get really bored during those 7+ hours of solitude, all caged up. You would too. Ours is a Havanese, supposedly a super smart breed, which means that she probably gets even more bored. You need to keep it entertained, and the Kong is a super dog toy that gives them something to do, at least for a few hours if you stuff it with a treat that they have to work hard to get out. We stuff ours with a little dog biscuit, and plug it up with low fat/no sugar peanut butter; then we freeze it. It seems to work pretty well, at least until she gives up when she can’t get to the biscuit inside anymore. I crush up the what’s left of the biscuit when I get home and use it for training treats.
Remain calm when you come home too.
When you come back home, don’t go goo-goo-ga-ga when you see your dog. And don’t start yelling at it if it did something naughty. I know it’s hard to resist when you’ve been waiting all day to find out whether it’s still alive, or if it pooed all over the place…
Giving it attention right away will reinforce its anxiety in anticipation for you to come home. I feel as if it’s thinking, “If I leave as big of a mess as possible, you’ll just HAVE to come home and clean it up!” I swear I see it in her face as I’m scraping the poo. It’s like she’s saying, “Save me from myself!”
Wait a few minutes until the dog is calm and the way you want it to be. If it’s barking at you, tell it to stop in a firm voice like you would usually do. Don’t give it any affection until it calms down – on your terms, not theirs.
Now our big problem is still dealing with The Weeweepad Affair… More on that to come.
9 responses so far ↓
Phyllis // July 7, 2008 at 6:15 pm |
You could also try this:
Pet Melodies (you’ll have to google it since I can’t find the original site I bought it from) or http://www.petmusic.com/petmusic.php
I bought one (Pet Melodies) for a friend’s dog once (before I had a dog) and I have one for my bunny as well. I don’t know if it actually works or not since none of my furries have serious separation anxiety. It’s mostly classical music. But, I plan on getting one for Mantou too. and maybe a multispecies version as well. if they have one.
Mantou gets scared when she’s left alone in a new place (like when I move to a new apt and I go out to do laundry…she barks and cries and whines). What works for me in the beginning is leaving the TV on to soothe her. After a few days of doing this, she stops barking when I leave.
Flying with Dogs « The Puppy Experiment // August 27, 2008 at 12:49 am |
[...] Don’t give them too much attention. It’s just like leaving home – if it’s not a big deal to you, it won’t be a big deal to them. (Read our post on how to leave your dog at home.) [...]
DogTraining // September 4, 2008 at 3:13 pm |
Very thorough and well done article. I think that for a young puppy though you would not want to leave them alone this long. It is something you would want to work up to over time. Especially while you are house training, so that you can provide the consistent supervision that is necessary.
Andy // December 2, 2008 at 1:05 pm |
Great article. I agree, it’s ok to leave them home alone if you handle it right. Ignore all those so-called experts that say it’s wrong to leave a dog for hours. I read one expert that said: “you wouldn’t leave a 1-month old baby at home alone for 8 hours would you?” and my response is: no, I wouldn’t… I also wouldn’t let a 1-month old child pee on the floor and I wouldn’t feed it kibble. The analogy is at best silly, at worst idiotic.
This article is dead-on. We have a golden retriever puppy (you know, the breed that according to dog books will become suicidal if you don’t play with them every second of the day) and we have to leave him at home alone 4 days a week because of work and he’s fine.
He whined a bit the first few days, but as soon as we got that Kong, he quit giving a crap about us leaving! hehe
Of course, if you can be with your pup all day, by all means that’s best. But if not? It’s ok! Just make SURE that when you ARE home, you love it and exercise it a lot. Just my two cents (that in today’s economy is probably more like 1.1 cent)
writeawrong // December 4, 2008 at 5:49 pm |
Hahahaha, thanks for finding us and leaving a comment Andy.
Thoroughly enjoyed your 1.1 cents!
It’s exactly why we started blogging about our experiences- figuring what’s worked for us will work for others…and be more understandable/reasonable than those scientific “studies”.
=)
plasticwool // February 3, 2009 at 10:03 am |
One of our rescue chihuahuas has separation anxiety. She’d whine, cry, yelp, you name it. Crated or not and we are still trying. it’s been 4 months now.
writeawrong // February 9, 2009 at 11:17 am |
Definitely rescue pets are a different story than one you’ve had straight from the mother.
We don’t know what your rescue chihuahua has really gone through and how it has affected her.
Separation anxiety can be a really frustrating issue and different for each pet.
It’s really more training her mentality whenever you leave her alone, and just snapping her out of it. From our experience, we’ve seen citronella collars to work effectively on smaller breeds. It may work w/ your dog if you haven’t tried already. You might also try putting her in her crate and covering it with a blanket while you’re in the room. Try the exercise for awhile, and then leave her alone in the covered crate for periods at a time. It could gradually lessen the anxiety. We’re definitely no experts- just some small tips.
Please come back to visit and let us know your progress and what has or hasn’t worked for you.
We’d love to hear and share your experiences.
Mel // March 18, 2009 at 7:07 am |
We just got a puppy she was born in january 09, this will be her first day at home along. We keeping her in the bathroom she has plenty of water and the raido is on a timer so comes on for an hour or two a day. The bathroom is spacious and bigger then the average create, she is a king charles black and tan, cute lil thing weighs only 1.4kg. Even though i worry about her at home alone i think she might just sleep alot. This post re-assured me though that others do and it while its not ideal it is do-able and ok. They just have to learn. Plus there will be odd days my bf will work from home or i can get off work at lunch. And that thing about the baby i mean thats silly a baby cant eat its own food/water from a bowl or move to another spot when they have pee’d and so on
Home Alone Tip - Stuffed Kong Ideas « The Puppy Experiment // April 17, 2009 at 7:51 pm |
[...] enter – The Kong We mentioned this toy in our previous blog, but here’s specifically what works for us and her [...]